Swinging, also known as "partner swapping" or "wife swapping," is a consensual and recreational sexual activity where couples engage in sexual activity with other couples or individuals.
It is a subculture within the larger community of open relationships and non-monogamy.
Rules are crucial in swinging because the lifestyle is centred around consensual and recreational sexual activity with multiple partners.
Without rules, there is a potential for misunderstandings, discomfort, and even harm to occur.
Rules help to ensure that everyone involved is comfortable and respected and to create a safe and enjoyable environment for everyone to explore their desires and pleasure.
They also help establish boundaries and ensure that everyone knows what is and is not acceptable.
While the lifestyle may seem wild and carefree to outsiders, there are many guidelines and boundaries put in place to ensure that everyone involved is comfortable and respected.
One of the most important rules of the lifestyle is consent. This means that all sexual activity must be consensual and that all parties involved must give explicit and enthusiastic consent before any sexual activity takes place.
This is a crucial rule to ensure that everyone is on the same page and that no one is pressured or coerced into doing anything they're not comfortable with.
Another important rule is discretion. This means that the lifestyle is private and should not be discussed with people outside of the lifestyle.
It's important to keep the lifestyle private to protect the privacy of all parties involved and to respect the boundaries of those who are not comfortable with others knowing about their involvement in the lifestyle.
Communication is also a key rule within the lifestyle. It's important to have open and honest communication with your partner(s) and to make sure that everyone is on the same page and comfortable with the activity that is taking place.
This also means that everyone should be upfront about their boundaries and desires so that everyone can have a clear and enjoyable experience.
Another norm in the lifestyle is that often couples will establish a "safe word" which is a word that can be used by anyone at any time to indicate that they are uncomfortable or want to stop the activity.
This is a way for everyone to feel safe and respected during the activity.
It's also worth noting that the lifestyle is not a substitute for a committed relationship, it's important to maintain a strong connection with your partner and to make sure that everyone is happy and comfortable with the activity that is taking place.
These rules and norms are put in place to ensure that everyone involved in the lifestyle is comfortable and respected and to create a safe and enjoyable environment for everyone to explore their desires and pleasure.
Besides the ones stated already, keep reading below our comprehensive list of the most common rules that swinger-married couples or partners establish to be successful around this lifestyle.
What are the most common rules and norms for swinging? List of rules for swinging
- Consent is always paramount
- Respect the right of others to decline any offer or request and the same for you.
- Always be safe, always safe sex.
- Bring your own supplies, condoms, toys and anything else
- No judgement
- Be of good conduct
- Adhere to dressing codes and norms of swinging clubs
- Couples come and leave as a couple
- Chit-chat interactions pre-play
- Bring a gift for the host
- Bring the right sexy dressing attire
- Avoid making comparisons or questioning one's performance in bed in relation to their spouse/partner.
- Avoid criticising or complaining about your own spouse/partner in relation to their abilities in the bedroom.
- Make sure you take care of your hygiene
- Avoid insisting on swinging with a couple when is not consented to by your partner.
- Voyeurs remain quiet
- Ensure to take responsibility for cleaning up after yourself.
- Take steps to manage and reduce your own nerves or anxiety.
- Bring wine, beer and other goodies to break the ice.
- Avoid undermining or diminishing the authority of your partner.
- Be respectful and polite after engaging in sexual activity.
- Be punctual
- If you encounter an issue, inform the host/organizer of the event.
- Avoid physical contact without obtaining prior consent.
- Be respectful and polite towards others in all interactions.
- Be friendly
- Communicate and check in with your partner during the event.
- Avoid staying in a common area for an excessive amount of time, allowing others to also enjoy the space.
What do I need to know before swinging?
If you're considering getting into the swinging lifestyle, there are a few things that you should know before diving in.
Amongst the most important ones are the ones below:
- Understand the difference between soft swap and full swap
- Soft swap refers to engaging in sexual activities that don't involve intercourse, such as kissing, touching, and oral sex.
Full swap refers to engaging in sexual intercourse with another couple during a partner swap. - Be aware of hygiene
It's expected that everyone involved in the lifestyle maintains a good level of personal hygiene and uses protection during sexual activity.
- Have a clear understanding of what you want
It's important to have a clear understanding of what you want out of the lifestyle. This will help you to better communicate with your partner and other couples and to find people who are on the same page as you. - Be open-minded
The lifestyle is about pleasure and exploration, it's not about pressure or judgment. - Be prepared for rejection
Not everyone you approach may be interested in swinging with you. It's important to be prepared for rejection and not take it personally. - Understand that emotions can be involved
Engaging in sexual activity with other couples can bring up feelings of jealousy, insecurity, and even guilt.
It's important to be aware of these emotions and to communicate with your partner about how you're feeling. - Find the right community
There are many different communities within the swinging lifestyle, and it's important to find one that aligns with your values and interests.
Look for local groups, online forums, and events where you can connect with like-minded individuals. - Be respectful
The most important thing to remember is to be respectful of others. This includes respecting their boundaries, their wishes, and their privacy. - Have a clear exit strategy
Before you engage in any kind of sexual activity, it's important to have a clear exit strategy.
This will help you to feel more in control of the situation and will also help you to leave the situation if it becomes uncomfortable. - Be prepared for different levels of involvement
Not everyone in the swinging lifestyle has the same level of involvement.
Some couples may be more casual and only engage in soft swaps, while others may be more experienced and open to full swaps.
It's important to be prepared for different levels of involvement and to communicate with other couples to ensure that everyone is on the same page.
Final thoughts
In conclusion, swinging can be a fun and exciting way to explore your sexuality and connect with other like-minded individuals.
However, it's important to be aware of the rules and norms of the lifestyle and to communicate with your partner and other couples to ensure that everyone is happy and comfortable with the activity that is taking place.
Remember that the most important thing is to be respectful, to communicate openly and honestly with everyone involved, and to be aware of your own and others' safety.